Self- Concept: “Perceiving the Self and Others”

I believe evaluating myself will be different in the way someone else would evaluate me. I have the tendency to evaluate myself harder than others would do. I had always thought the worse first before I could see the positive.  For example: I remember when I had to speak at a church function and while walking up to the podium all I could focus only on was how nervous, tense and uncomfortable I felt. After I finished speaking I begin to question myself on whether or not did I say the right things or was the words clear for people to understand. My thoughts so strong within me about whether I communicated well to other or not, it became a torment to me. I just accept the fact I was not competent in the way I communicated to others and the message was not good. Until people in the church started coming up to me and saying, “how they enjoyed the message and it was personally for them”. Of course I begin to thank God for his word and for using me. Over the years I have got better in controlling my nerves and negatively questioning or tormenting myself.  The similarities I have as a communicator would be being a good listener when someone is talking and having good eye contact as I am attentive to what the speaker is saying. 

One thing that surprised me the most about the way people said I spoke. Not only did they say I spoke with authority and accurate, but they said they did not see any nervousness at all. It was amazing to me because I know how I felt and could not remember anything between the beginning and ending of the message during my speaking engagement. “Our thoughts and cognitions influence how and what we communicate to others and at the same time influence the way that we interpret the behaviors and messages that others send to us." (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 38)

The insights about communication I have gained from this week reading was learning about the three influences that helps us with our ability to use our cognitive skills and become a more competent communicator. The three influences to be a competent communicator are: Self-concept, self-esteem and self-efficacy. Having all three of these attribute when effectively communicating with others gives us the confident we need to get the right words across without questioning our ability as a competent communicator. O’Hair &Wiemann (2012) talks about self-concept has incredible power to shape ones communication with others, especially when one’s strengths or weakness is taking into consideration. Self-concept, self-esteem and self-efficacy can enhance my ability to become a competent communicator in my professional work and personal life. Not only will I  learn how to relate with others in a positive relationship, but will provide me the opportunity to communicate with both adults,  children and families in the early childhood field.

Reference:

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: Am introduction. New York:

            Bed ford/St. Martin’s