The Experience of Disagreements and Conflicts

The most recently conflict I had experienced was on my job just before going on a two week vacation. After putting in a leave request back in August 2014 for three weeks in order to take care of a family matter. The conflict took place right before my vacation was supposed to start in February 2015, when I was deny the full leave request. Not only from one supervisor, but two of them gave me assurance that it will be no problem when the time came for my vacation, because I put the request in well in advance. That was not the case because when the time came for me to take my vacation there is a problem. My supervisor waited up until it was time for me to get off work when she said “I cannot give you three weeks of vacation instead I can only give you two week”. My first response was why? She just looked at me with a sad face for a moment. Then she replied by saying “I don’t believe people take more than 2 week vacation and because of the time of the year it was. Which I feel was not a solid reason for denying my full vacation. All I know it was not fair to me, because what does it matter what time of the year it was and I have been working at this job long enough to witness other colleagues taking off for a month for a vacation. I even reminded her of the verbal agreement that was giving to me by her and the other supervisor. Her reply was I understand that but I did not realize I put in for three weeks.

In frustration all I could really say was “this is not fair to me at all”. My supervisor only response was I am sorry. Just as I finished my conversation with the supervisor one of my colleagues said aloud to her “I need two days of the week of February 9^th”; which was the week I supposed to be on vacation. Not only was my colleague’s leave request granted, but another colleagues who just got back from a six week vacation was granted the other three days in that week. Of course, I was hurt and felt what my supervisor did to me was not right. After telling my supervisor how wrong I felt it was to take a week of vacation away from me in an angry way. I apologize the next day. Of course, she accept my apology, but I came up with the short end of the stick.

I believe if this vacation was not important to me, I would have not got angry but it would have been easier for me to accept her decision. After waiting to deny my vacation just two before it was supposed to start is not right. There was no type of reasoning or trying to compromise the situation. I believe the supervisor should have told me weeks ago about her decision, discuss a different plan with me instead of granting the days I ask for to other colleagues or suggested to give me other available days to make up the week she took from me.

I believe if things are not probably dealt with in a timely manner then it is impossible to resolve any disagreement or conflict between the two parties. Providing a quick answer or using escapist strategies is not always the better way. The principles of NVC might positively impact communication in ways that provides opportunity where people can come together on one accord or in unity. Just to sit down together, discussing the issue at hand and coming up with a realistic solution that would have beneficial for all parties can be good. The two strategies I would like to share is not to come to resolve a conflict without using a solutions that is beneficial for everyone.  In other words it is important to solve conflicts with using a cooperative strategies. Also it is important to address the matter with the truth and not give any reason or opinion. In other words by using the conflict management strategies allows all parties to address disagreements professionally and sensibly as possible.   

Reference:

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: Am introduction. New York:

            Bed ford/St. Martin’s